I just got kicked out the blog I was writing!! At first I was upset because I was into the third paragraph of writing that my husband is concerned there many be layoffs coming at his work. I realized that by so swiftly kicking me out of all my negative layoff ranting, however, maybe God was kicking me in the pants for worrying that piece of news into reality. I truly believe we MUST stay positive or we put forces in place we DON'T want. So...I won't do that. By the same token though, this bit of news is sobering in that it makes me take a real look at how very important it is that I tame the spending beast RIGHT NOW!!

Early in our marriage when we had MUCH less money and I was two weeks from delivering our second child, my husband was laid off. What a "sobering" event that was! Although he was only laid off three months, it was a lesson I thought I would never forget in spending wisely and only buying what is essential. Literally, the experience was so frightening, I vowed to NEVER forget it. But alas, I did...

In all these years we have been so blessed that we could have lived off what I made and totally banked his. Unfortunately, we have only done this for the past few years. In some of these years I was using his salary to pay off our home, though, which was good, but we should have saved MUCH more.

That being said, that was yesterday, and no matter how much I wish I could undo the past, I can't and today is all we have. Today I have these new goals:

1) Get realistic about the dangers of this economy and realize I am subject to the same new realities.
3) Keep writing down every expenditure.
4) Take stock of ALL we have. Write down EXACTLY how much we have in savings, 401K, IRAs, etc.
5) Stop being quite so generous with my adult age kids..just two days ago we gave my 27 year old an interest free loan of $10K for his graduate school...maybe we could have used that 10K!
6) Be grateful that we CAN live on what I make, but try to evaluate how we can leverage our savings to produce income, keeping in mind we do need to keep a cushion.

As to #6, at one time we started a great new phase of buying rentals. I figured that if we had six paid off rentals which brought in $3,600 we would bring in about enough to replace which my husband brings home. Unfortunately, though, I let others around me discourage me in this and we only have the one rental. Of course, my knee jerk reaction last night was to go on a buying frenzy and purchase as many rentals as we could. Instead of yet another knee jerk spending phase, though, I need to slow down and we need to evaluate this situation to determine the best course. Coincidentally, though, I am seeing some houses with our realtor this weekend (I scheduled this showing several days ago so it was before yesterday's "knee Jerk" news).

MOST IMPORTANLY. Remember to have faith in God, pray regularly and place this issue in his hands. Even with all that, I do know that sometimes God has other plans for us. Although ultimately they may work out to be better plans, sometimes they derail us for awhile and cause stress and discomfort. I pray that, if this happens, I will keep my eyes open and put my life in his hands, but be smarter and more frugal. I really pray I don't have to go through this though.

By the way, thanks so much for your kind comments yesterday. I feel like such a loser for my overspending ways. Your support reminded me of the first time I gave my first fairly nervous, fumbling speech at Toastmasters. Even though I spoke that day along side several very senior Toastmasters, they gave me the award for best speech of the day! I now realize they routinely give this award to newbies for encouragement, but at the time it was what I needed to give me some confidence. Your "cheers" yesterday were like that for me. I appreciate it! I am on DAY FOUR of financial reality!!! It feels much better than financial crazed lunatic frenzy!! WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!!?????

I could kick myself for the amount of expensive jewelry I just purchased before Christmas!!!!! I should have kicked myself before I spent the money!!!