Savings Queen's Personal Finance Journey

Last night Oprah's Life Class said you really should own up to who you really are. OK...I will now admit it. I have a problem with addictions which I have largely keep under control through 12 step meetings. I havn't had a drink in 11 years. I attend overeaters anonymous meetings and have recovered from bulemia and I now have NO charge card after having recently cut it up in the debtors anonymous program.

You would never know ANY of the above by looking at me, as I look pretty perfect on the outside...28 year marriage, two great now grown boys, used to be a TV news reporter, etc. Even when I was drinking it was only 2-3 glasses of wine a night, but EVERY night, and always more at parties (my husband and kids were very surprised when I started going to AA meetings). I have always appeared to be a slender person, except during the birth of my first child when I gained 75 pounds eating the way I wanted to eat. Since I own my own business and my husband has a good job we have always had lots in savings, a paid off home and even though the charge card balance rose to WHOPPING levels some months I almost always paid it off each month. This being the case, though, there were times when I spent way too much on decor or jewelry or the latest obsession of the moment. In my earlier posts I mentioned having started the debtors anonymous program, but even though I was supposed to, I didn't cut up my charge card rationalizing that since I paid it off each month it was not doing any REAL damage.

LIFE HAPPENED. Since my last post six months or so ago, my life changed. For a period of about two months my husband and I thought he was going to get laid off...well technically he DID get laid off, but then the new company which was purchasing the company he worked for realized how valuable he was and kept him on, even giving him a $5,000 raise.

During that process of thinking he was going to be laid off, though, we sold our BEAUTIFUL paid off home in a great neighborhood, thinking we would downsize and use some of that equity to purchase more rental houses so he could be a "landlord" instead of a middle aged guy looking for a job. To make a long story short, after purchasing our new home and moving in we realized that we HATE the neighborhood for reasons I won't go in to and our new house is back on the market in a really down real estate market. It has been on the market for six weeks with not one looker, even though it is now beautiful thanks to about 12K of improvements I made just after we moved in. I have realized that we may end up stuck here at least for awhile.

Here are my new goals:
1) learn to turn the house situation and EVERYTHING in my life over to God and let him take the wheel...thank him for this home and know that he will bring us a buyer at the right time.
2) continue the JOY of not using a charge card and writing down all my expenditures. (It is true what they say that even if you pay off the charge card each month you DO spend more money using a charge card...in my case, ALOT more money!)
3) Continue to really work my 12 step programs as they help me learn to appreciate my life and relationship to God and helping others

I am learning the hard way to appreciate what I have and not think that happiness is in the next...whatever. This has been a very hard lesson for me to really learn and I think now God has placed me in this new home I don't really like to help me learn that...OR, I got myself here through making a rash, uninformed new home choice. In any event, I am here and bound and determined to stay positive and moving forward, if a lot of more slowly and more methodically than I have done in the past.

In terms of money, the house is paid for, the cars are paid for and we have no debt of any kind. We are living on my income and socking hubby's away each month. Life is good in many ways and today I will count my blessings. Just for today I will be grateful. Thank you God.

Although I haven't posted in a few weeks things are going well for me here in our house. My DH just got a bonus and we used it to pay off his car so we are officially debt free! No mortgage and no car payments. I am so happy about that.

Since January 1 we have truly been living on my income and banking DHs so the savings account is fat and happy. Also, we are living within our spending plan and the checking account is overflowing as well. I am learning that through planning ahead we can get some nice things (when truly needed) and also have some good experiences (like my 50% off Groupons for a local restaurant we have enjoyed).

Retirement Goals. We did get reinvested in the stock market in our 401Ks which was a goal I had. Unfortunately, we did it a few weeks ago at the height of the stock market. I did divide the amount to reinvest over six months though so we will be "dollar cost averaging" in over the next six months. This feels like an ouch to have entered the market at the height as it has come down some, but we still have 15 years till retirement so I guess I will bite my nails and hang on.

Rental House Income. After two false starts in terms of rental houses (we contracted and then backed out of 2 different deals), we really do want to keep looking and purchase rental house #2 soon. We also just completed some light remodeling on rental house #1 and we need to get it rented again or sell it on owner carry. We will take pics and put it up for sale/rent on Craigs List later this week. I know most people seem to be against rentals but DH and I are very handy and we have always made money flipping our own houses so buying and fixing houses is something we are good at. God gave us this "blessing" and I feel like we have to use it to give us security for the future, especially as I feel like the stock market is a gamble. I would love to have rental houses which bring in $5000 income a month and then we will be totally financially free.

12 Step Meetings. I continue to attend my Debtors Anonymous meetings by phone as I am getting ready each morning. This reminds me to write down what I spend each day and stick with our spending plan. One day at a time we are financially "solvent" which makes me SO HAPPY!!! Blessings to all of you!!

I haven't posted in a week or so because nothing new has really been happening. I am glad to report that I have been going to telephone Debtors' Anonymous meetings most every day and I continue to track each penny I spend and no longer spend compulsively. I know my reprieve is just for this day, but it is working and my compulsive spending problem has been gone now for about 2 months. Praise the Lord...literally!

In April my DH and I are flying to Ashville, NC to meet one of our sons for a short vacation and see Biltmoore house there. That trip is compliments of my Chase Frequent Flyer VISA card! Also, we are getting our hotel compliments of our Marriott Rewards card as we got six free nights there (we got the card to get six free nights and then immediately paid it off). In addition, I recently got a "Rewards" Amex card which gave me 20,000 points to open an account and then spend and payoff a $600 purchase. I did that and just purchased a $180 Bissell carpet cleaner with the points.

My DA program would say to cut up all credit cards but I only use just the one Chase frequent flyer card (I don't use the other cards). I use it like a debit card and pay it off each Friday. I know it is a little risky to keep that card but I LOVE those miles as we live in a town with expensive air service and actually buyng tickets would be EXPENSIVE!!

I am so grateful for my progress in the DA program. One Day at a Time my compulsive spending has been arrested since January 1. I write down everything I purchase each day and live according to my spending plan.

I mentioned earlier that when I got my spending under control I started overeating. I am happy to report that I have been on Weight Watchers now for about two weeks and have lost the pounds I gained when I quit over spending. I am also participating in an online Overeaters Anonymous group which is really helping in that area too. Life is VERY good right now. We are truly living on what I make and saving DH's paycheck each month. We have both stopped frittering away money and now plan ahead for purchases we want to make. Thanks God!! Blessings to everyone.

I am pleased I have been tracking my spending and not debting since January 1...about a month and a half. Thankfully I have lost the terrible spending compulsion I had during my Ebay jewelry buying spree before Christmas. It was one of the worst compulsions I have ever had and it gave me great empathy for addicts of all types. Although it's difficult for "normal" people to understand, sometimes the addiction is so powerful the addict truly can't stop the harmful behavior.

I am grateful that within two weeks of quitting sugar the spending compulsion left me. In addition, I started attending debtor's anonymous (DA)groups by telephone each morning (I haven't missed a morning since I started). Both of these things have taken away my spending compulsion. Also, reading the blogs here has helped me tremendously.

Once I stopped spending, though, my eating urge hit pretty hard and I gained six pounds in one month. That prompted me to join Weight Watchers which I started about three days ago. I am glad that already the WW eating plan has taken away my out of control eating. I have also already started to drop the weight I gained which is also nice.

It's funny that one of the key components of both DA and WW is to write down everything you buy and/or eat. Doing this gives one great clarity and calm.

The DA program, and all other twelve step programs, are spiritually based programs which teach you to turn your will over to a higher power (mine is the Lord). I have realized that no matter what addiction one struggles with it all really boils down to the addictive substance taking the God spot in one's life. During my spending or overeating sprees, fancy jewelry or the next meal became what I thought about continually, NOT God or God's will for my life...spending and eating became my Gods.

I am grateful that many years ago God gave Bill W.the spiritual tennants of the AA program as it has helped so many people overcome so many different struggles. I am grateful that just for today, I am spending and eating wisely. Thanks God!

I had my first couponing shopping trip. I thank everyone who gave me advice on this. That SouthernSavers.com website has GREAT advice and also links to coupons which is very nice. I planned my trip based on couponmom.com which puts together the sales from your local grocery store with the recent coupons. It is really neat because I have learned that it is very possible to buy toothpaste and deodorant FREE or for $.50 or less, if you aren't brand loyal. I have told DH that we are both going to stop caring so much about which brand we use on our armpits!!

That being said I carefully only bought things we use and combined that list with coupons and what was on sale. Even so, though, I was kind of underwhelmed when I got to the checkout counter at Walmart. I paid just over $39 and with the coupons it was reduced to $33. It was NOT the incredible savings I see on the morning shows. That being said, though, since I was mostly buying things on sale I think I probably got about $60 of groceries for my $33 which IS good.

One bad element of the day though was that I LOST my coupon keeper filled with coupons somewhere between the Walmart parking lot and my house!!! I now need to go purchase another coupon keeper! BUT I did get my toes wet on this thing and tomorrow morning I plan to get a couple of extra Sunday papers to get at least three of each coupon. Plus my mother in law says she will save them for me.

Fortunately, although I did lose some good coupons when I lost the coupon keeper, since the website recommends that you keep the coupons in their circulars (dated) until you need to use them, I still have most of the coupons I have saved from the last month.

I do need to remember, though, that couponing can be addictive and NOT buy things I won't use.

My spending is WELL under control...I have been tracking all spending and living within our budget for just over a month. Paid off one car. Paid down about 50% on the second car. Charge card is at zero balance. We just rebalanced our 401K. Established MINT.com account and DH is excited about that and even looking at all daily expenditures. He LOVES it and this is the first time he has really ever even paid attention to what was being spent. This is truly GREAT news for me as it keeps me accountable. In the past I had "free license to spend" because he never even looked at what I spent.

BUT I AM DISGUSTED TODAY! I have gone from 123 pounds on January 1 to 129 pounds this morning! Six pounds in one month! I am still a slender person but am nearing the scary weight "edge" if you know what I mean. For me, 130's ville is the weight danger zone as I know where that has sometimes led in the past.

For us addictive types, we get one area under control, then another area "pops." For this reason I am going to start using my old Weight Watchers tracking book today (you write down all the foods you eat and stay within your number of points). If I can't get this weight thing back under control myself, even though the meetings cost money, I am going to go back to them. They are $12 a week paid on a weekly basis or just under $40 a month paid by the month. When I was going to them before and lost weight, DH complained about my paying the $12 a week fee as he didn't think it was necessary. Those meetings kept me at a good weight...they were for maintenance.

On well, at least I have an option to help keep my weight under control. I will do it. I realized last night at dinner as I was eating a plate of nachos left over from the Super Bowl party that my eating habits were getting really bad.

I am going to try tracking everything I eat for at least the next few days. If I can't get it under control myself I will spend the money for the meetings. I AM SO ENVIOUS OF YOU NON-ADDICTIVE TYPES WHO JUST DO THE RIGHT THINGS NATURALLY...I HAVE TO FIGHT MY PERSONALITY EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!!!!

Oh well, I am very thrilled my spending is doing so well. As they say in my DA support group meetings "my worst day today is better than my best day when I was overspending." That is really so true. Thanks God!

I AM IN A MESS THIS MORNING!! I have been saving my Sunday sale papers for a month and went to COUPONMOM.com to begin clipping coupons for my first "coupon" shopping trip and it is taking me forever as from Coupon Mom I have a grocery store list, a Walmart list, a Target list and a Walgreens list...flipping back and forth between each week's circular and each list is making me crazy!!

Can anyone give me some advice and/or tips on how to do this effectively? Do you clip ALL the coupons before looking at coupon mom or do you clip the coupons from each circular each week...this seems cumbersome. Also, I am worried that I will end up overspending just to get good deals. Do you couponers not pay attention to brands (i.e. do you use different brands or toothpaste, deodorant, etc.)? Do you buy ahead on items when they are good deals? Also, how do you organize the process as it is lots of paperwork?? Any tips you can provide would be helpful as I am looking at a pile of mess right now!!
From reading the blogs I know there are some true experts out there!

MAKING DUE. I am noticing that as I read everyone's blog here I am thinking more about how to use what I have wisely instead of always buying something new. Therefore, this morning, instead of replacing my tired and tattered front door wreath, I remade it for $13. I kept the wreath itself and the older white roses and greenery and just added a new bow and purple floral stems. My re-do wreath will be just fine and it didn't cost me $50!!



UPCOMING NEEDS. We truly do need a new carpet cleaning machine. Ours broke about a year ago and instead of fixing it which would have cost $100 we decided to buy a new one. I looked at consumer reports and have selected the best model. We will purchase it soon out of our household budget. This is truly is a NEED because our carpets need cleaning and we would spend more than $150 to have them professionally cleaned and buying the cleaner will cost less than that.

UPCOMING WANTS. My sister got a Roomba. This is the small round automatic vaccuum that vacuums your floors automatically. She loves it as it keeps her wood floors looking great with really no effort on her part except dumping out the dust bin each day (she has it set to automatically clean at midnight). I almost hate sweeping my wood floors as they take up most of the first floor so it's a big job. Since this is a "WANT" I plan to wait another couple of months and "save" the money in my "Beth's Fun Money" account. This is a $100 a month allowance in our budget (DH has one too).

This is a new thing for me to want something and not just go buy it. This is a real grownup responsible way to purchase something. Who knows? Maybe the waiting to get it will be just as much fun as the anticipating of a future restaurant treat. Actually I really DO want it now but I have decided to wait...little OOOUUUCCCHHH!!

Does anybody have a Roomba? If so, how do you like it?

GRANITE CITY. Spent $30 yesterday on 3 Granite City restaurant coupons. I paid $10 for each $20 gift card and they must be used in the next three months. Granite City is kind of like an upscale Applebees. We like their Asian Chicken Salad which is around $9. This means we can go out to a nice dinner + lemon water for the $10 of the coupon plus a $4 tip (20% of the orig. $20 purchase). We will have three great night outs to look forward to! Even going to our normal kind of frugal restaurant would have cost us more than $20! A good bargain and something nice to look forward to!

NOTE. I am learning from you all here that when you plan ahead for fun events you can (1) save money and (2) actually look forward to the event. We never got this enjoyment before because our planning was coming home from work tired and going "I'm too tired to cook, let's go out." We were playing worn out defense instead of happy offense! Tomorrow morning we are looking forward to going to IHOP with our 50% off coupon...nothing as luxurious as Sunday breakfast out!

BROTHER IN LAW VISIT. DH's brother in law is coming today to work on his car in our garage. I have nice sundried tomato pasta and salad left over from earlier in the week. We will have this plus garlic bread for dinner. For lunch I will go grab some turkey lunch meat, bread and chips. We will have avacado, sprout, cream cheese and turkey sandwiches and chips for lunch since I have the avacados, sprouts and cream cheese already! Yum!!

I always like to eat and it sounds like a good day ahead for that PLUS I get to see my brother in law!

My DH and I volunteer some at the Lord's Diner. It is a free "restaurant" for our community's homeless people. The building is relatively new and the decor is nice. Each evening there is a cafeteria line of good food including dessert. We call the patrons' guests and it is a cheery, nice place to eat.

Among the guests there are many stereotypical homeless people...mostly men probably with alchohol and/or drug problems and also mental ill people, as a few years back our state made the "wonderful" decision to close our state hospitals which put many mentally ill people on the streets.

Surprisingly, though, a lot of our guests have jobs at local fast good restaurants or machine shops. They probably make little more than minimum wage and they use dinner at the Lord's Diner to stretch their meager budgets. At the first of the month the diner serves 300 people and the number doubles near the end of the month because it's so far from payday. There are also many families, and a separate family wing was added recently as we are getting more and more families.

It's easy to say everyone should just get out there and get a job, but many very deserving people really can't accomplish that or they can only find a job making very little money. For example, one of our diners was very severely burned and no one will hire him.

Working at The Lord's Diner reminds me that we always need to remember those who are less fortunate as we as a society really are their only protection...no amount of positive thinking will change that or their situations. For many, many people life is hard. The Bible says the poor will be with us always. Unfortunately, I think that's true.

OK. I know I am tackling a lot lately and this could be a mark that I will burn out, BUT, I have noticed that writing down everything I spend truly is helping me become conscious of living within my spending plan.

I have noticed though, that like many addictive personality types, as my checking account has gotten fat, I have too! I guess my emotional outlet has switched from spending to eating. Spending used to be my remedy for feeling up, down, happy, sad, frustrated, elated, etc. Now cheese covered nachos and ice cream seem to be!

OK. If writing down and tracking my spending is helping me so much to improve my finances (and guys, it's truly like night and day!), then maybe tracking other areas of my life in which I want to improve will do the same thing...including my eating habits. Therefore, I have added the following daily list to my "Author Info" over there to the left:

TRACKING: (started Thurs)
DA Phone Meeting/wk (5) I
30 Min Treadmill/wk (5) I
Vitamins/wk (6) I
Weigh/daily (124-126) 127.6
Fruit/wk (7)
Salads/wk (7)
Extra Veggie (7)
Girl Friend Event/wk (1)I
Couple Friend Event/2 wks (1)
Calling someone 1/day
Work Hard at Work (5)
Writing Down Spending (7)
Net Worth (1Xmo.)
Replace TV w/30 mins/day reading about real estate (7)

When I got on the scale, I was dissapointed, but not surprised, that I weighed more than my optimal weight. Now I know that 1.6 pounds over 126 doesn't seem like much to most people, but I have weighed as much as 200 pounds in tbe past (I WAS pregnant with my first son but...), and weight can just creep up on you. Also, I had liposuction a year ago and I want to protect my investment! Before the lipo I weighted 132 and had an apple-ish middle which I have now lost and never want to see again...it cost me $7,000 to lose.

Now, either this daily tracking will be easy, OR I will end up finding out it's too much and give it up. This is an experiment for me to see if (1) I actually DO the tracking and (2)if it works to keep me on track. It's anybody's guess if I can stick to this, but if I can I will probably be healthier, happier, wealthier and have closer friendships. Whatever happens, thanks God for the experiment!

I am working on paying off our only debt which is my DH's second car...his hobby Porsche. Yesterday I just got two more Ebay sales which totaled $1,459.33. Once the funds are transfered from Paypal to our checking account in 2-3 days, I will pay his car loan down to $5,129.83. These large Ebay sales are really chipping away at the loan but my largest pieces are gone now. Even if everything else sells, I will only make about $2,000 more which won't pay off the car.

That Porsche sounded so great intially, but now that it's parked safely in our garage I am kind of sorry we bought it (although don't tell DH that). I REALIZE THAT I HATE DEBT...at least debt that doesn't bring in income. Rich Dad would say that debt which brings in income is good debt. I guess that means debt for rental houses is good because it's debt that can end up paying for you to live. Of course, to make that work you have to go S-L-O-W-L-Y and make wise decisions.

For most of our 28 year marriage, other than paying off our own houses well, much of our money went for trinkets...fancy, shimmering nothings that looked attractive at the time, but ended up just frittering away our income (such as all the David Yurman jewlery I bought before Christmas which I am now selling). Although we didn't really debt all that much, purchasing all the stuff I had to have at the time wasted thousands of dollars.

Although looking back the money I wasted upsets me, it does me no good to beat myself up for past mistakes. I can only do the best I can to learn and improve one day at a time. Thanks to DA, writing down my numbers and this blog, I have now had one very good month + two days which is more than I had yesterday. Thanks God!

I have completed my first full month of writing down everything I spent and keeping track of my income and expenses in Mint.com. It has been a great month as I set up a spending plan at Mint.com and lived within it.

I noticed that in some areas, like gas and food, I was under budget and in a few other areas I was over (like restaurant food). Mint.com is wonderful because in addition to allowing you to link your checking and charge accounts and exactly track each expenditure, it allows you to set a yearly budget for each item which rolls forward. For example, my clothing allowance is $150 a month or $1,800 for the year. In January I spent nothing on clothes, so that amount will roll forward...this month I now have $300 in that catagory...next month $450, etc.

Our spending plan is based on DH and me living on what I make and banking his salary. Due to catagories in which we didn't spend last month (like lawn care... since we had snow, not grass...and home improvement), we were $2000 under budget overall so that extra $2000 is now sitting in the checking account waiting to be spent in months in which we will have lawn care or need clothes.

In the past, seeing a high checking account balance meant "WOO-HOOO!!!! I HAVE MONEY!! LET'S SPEND!!!" Now, it just means that I have the future money needed for bark chips in the spring or our vacation next summer (I have a monthly catagory of $300 for vacation which rolls forward).

Now, my fat checking account balance is largely meaningless as it no longer means I have a license to spend! I concentrate more on the spending plan I have set up in Mint.com. If I watch the pennies there, the dollars in the checking account take care of themselves...the beauty of financial sanity!

This is really neat. Who knew it could be so much fun to live on a budget?

Well, better sign off. The timer just dinged on the granola I am making! Yum!!

My DH and I went to the Marriott last night for our free night. It was a very nice hotel with lots of granite, plushy king bed and lots of amenities. The wonderful buffet breakfast they serve was $15 each so we decided to skip that as we had succumbed to an in-room movie which was $14.95!! We went home and I made avacado, cream cheese and sprout sandwiches and a salad...to me anything with avacados is a treat!

RENTAL HOUSE PROGRESS. We have decided AGAINST the expensive rental house as everyone we talked with wondered about our getting $1,800 a month rent here in Kansas. That is a very high dollar house for this part of the country. We may lose the $1K we put down as earnest money...hope not, but that would be better than getting in over our heads. At noon today we went with our realtor to see two other repos that cost about $75K each with other houses in the neighborhood on the market for $125K. Either would rent for around $1,000 a month so either of these would probably better meet our needs for income in retirement. I hope we don't lose the $1,000...ouch!!!! Again, we had to make the decision to purchase quickly since we discovered the house on the last day of the bids. I am learning that making FAST financial decisions can be costly...S-L-O-W DOWN QUEEN!!!

MAIDS CAME! Our "Maids" came today. That's my term I use for when DH and I clean the house. Pretty much everyone I know in my neighborhood has a cleaning lady and I did for a few months about six months ago, but I never could see spending $100 every two weeks for something we could so easily do ourselves so I gave her up. We pretty much keep things picked up so when we are ready to clean we set the timer for 30 minutes. He vacuums and I do everything else. In that amount of time (total one hour between us), we can clean our entire first floor which is mostly where we live. Later this week I will set the timer for 20 minutes and we'll clean the basement. We never use the second floor unless the boys are coming home. When the boys lived here, with all four of us, in half hour we could pretty much clean the entire house.

STILL COUNTING! I am still writing down my numbers...all income and everything we spend in a little memo pad I carry in my purse. It is AMAZING the difference this makes. We have only been on this new financial way of life for one month but we have MUCH more money at the end of the month then we usually do. I am also tracking things in MINT.COM.

I get nervous wondering if I can keep this up, but then I remember my DA program teaches me to do the right thing, JUST FOR TODAY. When you live right one day at a time, the tomorrows take care of themselves.

Thanks also for everyone in this blogging community. Reading your stories gives me good ideas and also ammo against our consumption-oriented society.

Following is a first for me...my first post on the Debtors Anonymous ("DA") YahooGroups website. Here is what I wrote this morning when I woke up at 2:30 (way too early!):

This is my first post and I really feel a bit confused about how this yahoo thing works, but also kind of glad to be here. I have been keeping my numbers pretty well since Jan 1 and living on my spending plan. I feel so in control of my finances which feels wonderful. Also, one day at a time and by the grace of God, my spending compulsion has left me.

We just had our second payday since I started my new financial sanity and the checking account is fat and happy. I also just paid off my $2,300 VISA card which feels great. I know in this program it says NOT to use plastic, but it is a frequent flyer card and it has a zero balance. I plan to try to use it like a debit card and pay it off from my linked checking acct each Friday. In the past, I have paid off the card each month, with the exception of this past December when my spending got a little wild (to put it mildly).

Before Christmas I had a VERY scary spending experience. I had tried to go on an antidepressant for some really rather mild unhappiness and one of the terrible side effects was that as I got "happy" I started an incredible spending binge on ebay in which I probably spent more than $10K!! Fortunately, I had Christmas bonuses to pay it off, but it was the only time in my life I found I couldn't stop spending. It got so bad and frightening that to stop the binge I went off sugar as a couple of books I read said sugar fuels addiction cycles. Within two weeks of quitting sugar and markedly decreasing my caffeine, my spending compulsion left me.

BUT I have a healthy respect for my overspending and know I must remain in the DA program for the rest of my life to deal with it. ONE DAY AT A TIME. DON'T DEBT. KEEP MY NUMBERS. PRAY "PLEASE" IN THE MORNING AND "THANKS" AT NIGHT. Thanks God!

RETURNING TO THE MARKET. Last night DH and I had a free phone consult with our Schwab consultant in which he looked at our retirement portfolio and recommended ways to rebalance things. Prior to the stock market crash two years ago I had pulled our mutual funds back to cash fortunately. Therefore, our 401Ks didn't lose money, BUT we were out of the market and in cash when the stock market started roaring back as it has done for the past 18 or so months. Having weathered several boom and bust cycles over the years I am frightened to get back in the market again but the consultant gave us a very conservative plan with 40% in stock mutual funds and the rest in bonds. He says that mix has gone down at worst only an average of 4-6% a year when it does go down. We really do need the upside so on Sunday morning DH and I are going to sit down together and make decisions on which mutual funds to purchase. The consultant said he makes no commissions which is good. Also, he suggested that to get back in we should dollar cost average and get it all back in at the rate of 1/6th per month for the next six months. That feels safer too. I HATE RISK!!!!! To me it almost feels like we are rolling the dice in hopes of a good retirement.

Today my DH got paid and tomorrow I get paid. This is a time of celebration for us as ALL his money went into savings and we are easily living off my money since we started on our spending plan on January 1. The checking acct is so flush that I paid off the Frequent Flyer VISA balance of $2,100 and we still have lots of money left over.

I need to remember, though, to stay on budget and not spend the extra funds. I am keeping the budget on Mint.com and many of the items roll over from month to month. We actually spent well under our budget this month because it contains amounts for clothing, car maintenance, vacations, and other expenses which we didn't use this month. That means I need to leave the money in the checking account so when we DO buy clothes or repair the car the money is there.

It feels SO good to be watching the spending so well. Not being frantic and a bit afraid by payday is a different feeling for me which I really like. I started my morning listening to a telephone debtors anonymous meeting and know that just for today I won't overspend. That is a great feeling.

Also, since I paid off the FF VISA, I will now use it just like a debit card and track it each day and pay it off from the checking account every Friday. NO MORE SCARILY HIGH VISA BILLS!!!!! YEAH!!!!

I am really a newbie at saving money, but the lightbulbs are starting to go off. The most recent?? I normally buy premade salads. I was in Walmart day before yesterday and looked at the unit price on the salad I normally get...$7.75 a pound for mixed romaine!!! The cost made me decide to switch to a head of romaine for just $1.75. After I brought it home and chopped it up, it filled my salad bowl. It was a little limp the first night, but by night #2, it was crispy and fresh.

HIDDEN TREASURE. When I cleaned out the cabinet the other day I found a coffee can size tin of alfalfa sprout seeds I had bought a couple of years ago during a sprout making phase. My first urge was to throw them out thinking they were expired or something. Instead, I tried soaking them and growing them in my two sprouting jars. I am on my third round of making alfalfa sprouts as they take about 3 days to germinate. I LOVE them and they make my salads taste so much better...FREE sprouts!!

SPENDING YESTERDAY:
$1.50 Car Wash
$29.70 Post Office (had to mail and insure the $2K item I sold through Ebay)
$5.04 Starbucks, bought tea for me and a friend (trying to invest in my friendships)
$2.00 12 step meeting contribution
TOTAL: $38.24
WOW! I kind of spent a lot for a day I wasn't planning to spend much.

PLANNED SPENDING THIS WEEK:
* Tea meeting friends at Barnes and Noble tonight
* Having son and in-laws for dinner tomorrow night. Will have parmesean chicken and sugar free ice cream for dessert (made with stuff on hand). Need to buy salad fixings and garlic bread.
* Friday night, dinner with girlfriends celebrating my 10 years of no alcohol!! Will buy one friend's dinner.
* Saturday Night. Using FREE Marriott night certificate (yeah!) for romantic evening with DH. May buy breakfast there for a treat OR we may come home and have home made whole wheat waffles or veggie sausage casserole. I'm sure the Marriott Breakfast will be $25-$30 so I may try to rethink this although our relationship is important and that would be a luxurious treat for us. We are WELL under budget his month so...

I don't usually have so many restaurant meals or teas with girlfriends. Actually I am trying to have more teas or outings with "girlfriends." Being a working mom all those years, I spent most all my free time with DH and the boys. Since I am now an empty nester, I am trying to invest more time and even money in girlfriends. Especially as we get older, girlfriends are pretty important. Since the boys moved out I get lonely sometimes.

I just sold two more Ebay jewelry items...one for $580 and the other, which was my "star" piece, for $2,000! This means that after paying shipping and other fees I will have $2,512 to put on my DH's car loan. This brings me down to a balance of $6,563.43. The loan started off at $10K when my DH bought the car in November so we are making progress, but it still sounds like we have a LONG way to go. Due to my impatient nature I want it paid off NOW!

TIT FOR TAT. I realize that my pre-Christmas Ebay spending spree really started when I suggested that my DH go ahead and purchase the new car he wanted...a three-year-old Porsche. He had had another model for about 10 years and, with the trade in, the new one was only $10,000. Things I now realize about this:

1) Now that we are facing closing on our second rental house, I really wish I had not pushed him to purchase his $10K "treat." Now, I would really rather have the $10,000!

2) There are no free lunches. The fact that I "gave" him the 10K to buy the car I now think in retrospect was part of the reason I started on my little jewelry spree. I reasoned that since he took 10K, I should too!

This is crazy logic since we are both on "Team Smith." Assuming Smith is our last name (it's not), we have this family tradition of thinking of the four of us as "Team Smith." I really love this idea...the idea that as a family we are no longer just individuals, we are members of our TEAM. As such, we each need to consider the TEAM'S welfare in our decisions. That way all members of our team are successful.

I realize that through my spending binges over the years, I have not really been thinking of the Team's welfare; in most cases I have selfishly been thinking of myself. Through the DA program and controlling my spending, I am really being a lot less selfish and learning to be a better member of our Team. Go Team Smith!!

PS My DH controls his spending naturally. I am very blessed that it's just me I have to watch. One Day at a Time I am doing that.

I was horrified to realize yesterday that I have $7,363.75 in jewelry items for sale on Ebay. These are items I bought before Christmas during my spending frenzy. I have an additional $3,000 in jewelry that I liked enough to keep, so that means my "spree" was truly a WHOPPER!! OOOUUUCCCHHH!! Self realization is PAINFUL!!!

Well, I can't look back. All I can do is go forward from this point. These blogs are teaching me to write down my figures and make goals. Therefore, I am adding a new goal:

PAY DOWN MY DH'S CAR LOAN OF $9,425.43 WITH MY EBAY SALES!!

I made a sale of $350 this AM. This means I am already down to $9,075.43!!! Although I still have a long way to go, as they say in the program, "It's Progress Not Perfection." I can hardly wait to get down into the $8000s! Thanks God!

I am still doing great with regard to living on my spending plan. I love the feeling of control writing down my "numbers" gives me.

In two weeks we close on our rental house, though, and I have to be very aware of my spending on the repairs we will make. In the past, decorating houses has been a trigger for me. DH and I visited Lowes and Home Depot last night and made a list of many of the items we will need to purchase. We also made out a budget and ALL the repair money will come out of our rental house account, NOT our general budget. Also, just like I do with our personal budget, I will write down every purchse we make for the rental house.

On Friday, I will pay off our $2,002 Visa bill (we use this VISA kind of like a debit card for most daily purchases). Friday is payday and our checking account can handle the hit. Then every Friday I will draw funds from the checking account to pay off the VISA each week. In that way I can use it much like a debit card and still get the FF miles. The minute I stop doing that, I have promised myself that the FF VISA has to go.

My debtors anonymous program says to use NO unsecured debt (charge cards). Although I know they would recommend I cut up that card, I want to see if I can manage it because I LOVE the free miles.

I posted almost all of the excess jewelry I bought before Christmas on Ebay today. If I sell it all it comes to $7,363.75. Although I didn't pay that much for the items, that is pretty scary to think how much I did spend on my spree. As items sell I will use the money to pay down my DH's second car.

I am enjoying reading all of the posts on this site as they remind me to stay on track ONE DAY AT A TIME. Thanks God!!

I have stopped my excess spending, paid off one of my husband's car loans and my checking account is looking good this month. Unfortunately, I find I have gained two pounds!

That's what happens with me. When I get one area under control, another area POPS!! That's because I have an addictive personality/biochemistry. I have been doing lots of reading on this subject and now truly believe that people who suffer from addictions often have different biochemistries than other people. Two of the books I read emphasized the connection between too much sugar/caffeine use and addictive behavior.

Before Christmas when I was in my Ebay spending frenzy and truly frightened because I couldn't stop, I quit eating sugar and drinking coffee and within two weeks my excess spending stopped. I was so grateful! I have remained largely off sugar and caffeine and my reasonable spending has continued...but I think I am easing stress/handling emotions more with food. This morning a Dr. Oz I had TIVOd said that when you are tempted to eat remember to ask yourself "F-L-A-B"...are you FRUSTRATED, LONELY, ANXIOUS or BORED? If so, find something to do rather than stuff your mouth!!!

I am going to use that and continue to attend my telephone Debtors Anonymous meetings. I especially need DA since we are closing on our second rental house February 2. In the past, buying houses has always been a spending TRIGGER for me. This time, I will make a spending plan for the new house and stick with it. This time, my car won't be a wreck and filled with paints, wall mud, mirrors, etc. that I buy in a financial frenzy! This time I will handle this rental house investment with restraint and sanity...ONE DAY AT A TIME. Also, I need to not let the PERFECTIONISM bug bite me. This is a rental house...NOT the Taj Mahal. Thanks God!!

Two weeks and three days into financial sanity!!

Found out the bank WILL pay for the $6,300 foundation repair on the rental house! Also, found out that in 2009 the house got a new roof, all new Anderson windows, a new hotwater heater and a new sump pump! The house is not in foreclosure but in early 2010 before it was foreclosed it was on the market for $249K and we are getting it for $153K. We will need to spend a couple of months doing cosmetic fixups, but we are very pleased.

I need to make a fixup budget for the house and then LIVE WITHIN IT! Fixing up houses has always been a trigger for my spending frenzies. This time, ONE DAY AT A TIME, I will do it frugally and reasonably.

I listened to a Debtors Anonymous meeting this morning. For me, this is a great way to start the day as it keeps my spending problem fresh in my mind. Every morning I pray to God to keep me financially sane AND I write down my "numbers."

Two weeks and two days into financial sanity! Paid off DH's car yesterday which felt great.

Yesterday our basement person found that the house would need $6,500 in basement repairs we hadn't anticipated.

I called the realtor to back out of the deal and he is going to try to get the bank to pay for the basement repairs.

If that happens we will go ahead with it. If it doesn't, we will back out.

In my Debtors Anonymous meeting this morning this stuck out: "Debt is a disease of impatience."

That is so true.

Two weeks and 1 day into financial sanity!! Yeah!!
Yesterday took change from the laundry room into Coinstar and got $14.95! Spent $44.39 on gas and just $1.50 for washing my mudball-like car. Was very pleased because normally I spend $5-$6 on a carwash, but happened to use a coin op wash where my six quarters really did wash the whole car! I will go back to that one!!

Tried to pay off DH's car loan yesterday but the bank was closed for MLK day. I will do that this morning which feels great.

This morning a basement person is meeting us at the rental house we are in the process of purchasing. This is a very nice REPO that appraised for $205K that we got for $153,750. This should rent for about $2,000 a month and is part of our plan for financial security in retirement. My DH and I have flipped houses for years and if this doesn't rent for as much as think it will (about 2K a month) then we will fix it up and resell it, although we REALLY plan to keep it as a high-end rental as it will bring in such nice income even after taxes, insurance and expenses.

So far, we have one very low end rental and this very nice one...we are at both extremes. This spring we plan to sell our cheapie rental house on an owner carry which will continue to bring in income.

My challenge will be to do the fixup on this new house on a budget and NOT get carried away to make it perfect as I have done in the past. Really all it needs is new interior paint, cleanup and updating some brass light fixtures. I am fighting the urge to buy it carpet as the current carpet is dark green, but my realtor says replacing it isn't necessary (he has about 16 rentals and should probably know).

I know some of you out there are not in favor of rental houses, but please don't let me know that as we have already done this and feel it is our ticket to financial security for the future. I strongly believe in living off the interest in retirement or having investments that will pay your living expenses.

I am praying that we find a financially stable couple or family that will rent our house for many years.

I am on Day 14 of my financial sanity. I am so happy I have been staying on my spending plan and will pay off the $3,600 left remaining my one of my husband's car loans today.

About four days ago I started attended Debtor's Anonymous (DA) meetings over the telephone as there are no DA meetings in my area. DA is a wonderful program for people who have a compulsive overspending or charge card use problem. Fortunately, I don't really have a debt problem, but a couple of times a year I way go overboard on my spending...WAY overboard.

Although some people have garden variety problems following a budget, my problem is a little more serious than that...I have an addiction to overspending. I know my financial situation is fairly blessed, but that doesn't negate the seriousness of my addiction. It's something I will have to watch every day for the rest of my life to keep it under control.

I was reminded of that yesterday during a telephone DA meeting. A woman called in and said she had a problem with shopping on one of the TV shopping networks. Although it had gotten so bad the bank was about to foreclose on her house, she couldn't decide whether to block those TV shopping channels! It sounded so CRAZY to me that her shopping addiction had nearly ruined her life and she still wasn't ready to quit!!

I say that not to judge her, but to remind myself that if you have the problem, overspending is a progressive addiction that always gets worse, never better, UNLESS YOU DO WHAT IT TAKES TO STOP.

For me, it is the tools of the DA program. In a nutshell, they are:

1) Cut up your credit cards
2) Write down all income and EVERY purchase today
2) Don't debt today

With God's help, just for today I will write down my "numbers" and not debt. It's really that simple. If you think you may have a similar problem visit www.debtorsanonymous.org.

Just for today, I hope you and God make it a great one!!

I am in Day 13 of financial sanity...writing down expenditures and living on my spending plan. It feels WONDERFUL!! One thing that I have noticed, though, which I find interesting is that straightening out my money life seems to be straightening out my cabinets!! It almost seems like Feng Shui in reverse.

In an effort to bring in more money in the past I tried Feng Shui which is, in part,decluttering your house in order to improve your finances. I have to admit that although I went through several Feng Shui phases, they never helped me save money.

Ironically, though, since I have been cleaning up my money act, my house seems to be getting more organized as well. For example, when I started trying to use the food I had on hand, my overflowing pantry naturally started getting more room in it as we used up what we had. Then I wanted to plan meals so I actually cleaned out and organized the pantry. Then, for the same reason, I ended up organizing a few other cabinets and drawers around the house in order to locate the duplicate cleaning supplies, beauty supplies, etc.

This new organization is happening slowly, but I have to admit I like it. It's pretty hard to save money when you keep buying duplicates because you don't know what you have.

I have been so inspired by this that I have a goal to organize just one drawer or cabinet a day. Also, a magazine article I just read gave me the great idea to set the timer for 30 minutes and have a family "clean" in which we each get a box and go through our things to determine items which could be tossed or donated. I love this idea.

Has anyone else noticed that as you clean up your finances, your house gets cleaner too? This is a bonus I could never have predicted, but it's nice.

I am on Day 12 of financial sanity and it feels wonderful! Due to my tracking every penny and not spending frivolously, our checking account is almost overflowing. Also, I sold enough Ebay items that, coupled with my fat checking account, I think I may be able to pay off the $3,600 we own on one of my DH's cars! Then we will have just one $9,600 car payment left to whittle down.

KIDS! One of my problem areas is my kids. My two grown boys are truly WONDERFUL human beings...smart, hard working, honest, giving, kind young men, and very frugal...WITH THEIR OWN MONEY!! As I mentioned recently, on the spur of the moment I gave my older son a $10K no interest loan for graduate school...OUCH!! For the past two years we have also been automatically funding $100 for each kid in a ROTH IRA. I'm fine with the ROTH, but here's the deal.

The kids think mom and dad are rich and they are used to me being very free with the money. My DH is out of town on business for a week so my younger son has decided to stay at home with me in his absence. Well, for the past 12 days I have been eating at home and had hoped to do that this week too. Well, my son called last night and said, "Hey, why don't we go to dinner?" Against my better judgement I agreed thinking that he doesn't get a treat like that very often. We had a very mediocre Mexican dinner out and I spent about $21.00 I didn't really want to spend.

RESOLVE. We are going to eat at home for the rest of his visit. I am even going to tell him that after Christmas expenses we are trying to watch it a bit. I have lots of things already in the house we can eat and I think I will purchase some french bread and salad and make some muffins. I have a frozen lasagna downstairs, I made some beans and rice and I can also make a pretty decent bean soup. I also have frozen chicken breasts and can make some quick parmesan chicken. I HAVE TO STOP LETTING MY KIDS PROMPT ME TO OVERSPEND!!! MY NEXT LESSON TO TACKLE!!!

Day 10 of writing it all down and following my spending plan. Yeah!! Yesterday I bought gas and the friend I went to lunch with insisted she pay for my lunch for my birthday...now I feel indebted to her and would rather have paid my own tab, but that's another story.

Another friend and I are thinking about starting a Debtors Anonymous meeting. I am really not much of a debtor, probably due to our higher income, but I certainly have had a spending problem at times in the past. Does anyone here have experience with the DA program? If so, do you think it's helpful?

Day Nine of Abstinence and tracking spending. I had my third no spending day in a row yesterday, but today I am going to lunch with a friend so I will spend money. Even though I don't love to spend money eating out, it is an investment in friendships.

Last night I was reminded of that when I was watching a rerun of Sex and the City. the girls were taking a bus trip to Atlantic City and Carrie looked around at all the pairs of older women and said, "we need to remember to invest in friendships because someday it will just be us girls." That is so true.

Therefore, I decided that once a week if a lunch date comes up I should accept it. Although this spending makes me a bit nervous, if I am being reasonable in other areas, this is perfectly acceptable and fits within our budget.

In the future though I think I may suggest coffee or even tea at my house when I can though, because I really prefer that if we are going out I spend the money on dates with my husband. Also, I don't love it when friends suggest we all go out for an expensive dinner, but sometimes I do this as you have to have friends.

Any thoughts on the above? I am trying to figure out a healthy relationship with spending. As you can see, I am confused about this issue.

DAY EIGHT OF FINANCIAL ABSTINENCE!!

What got me into my pre-Christmas jewelry buying spree was that I envisioned having an Ebay store in which I would buy jewelry low and sell high. Well, although I won't go into all the gory details, suffice it to say, it didn't work out like that. I am not a person who should consider buying ANYTHING as a past time...too dangerous!

That being said, I did sell two Ebay items yesterday for a total of $1,525. This money will trickle in over the next few days and I will leave it in the checking account until the end of the month when I plan to pay as much as I can on our lowest car loan which is $3,405.61. If I am very frugal, this month I think I can pay all or nearly all of that loan off, especially if another Ebay items sells. Then my only other debt will be our loan of $9,600 on my husband's beloved "hobby" car. If I apply myself I hope to be able to pay that off this year.

I am in my third NO SPENDING DAY (hope I make it through 'till tonight)!! Having had snow here the last couple of days was helpful, but I really didn't have anything I wanted to buy anyway.

I have to watch out though because sometimes after a period of being "good" and not spending much of anything, I have tended to explode in a buying frenzy. I am pleased so far, but very cautiously optimistic. No one who doesn't have a spending problem can truly understand what it's like to be in the midst of one of those frenzies. It feels out of control and awful.

Just for today, I am grateful for what I have and content. I need nothing more. Thank you God.